Sometimes I think oh I was so much better looking years ago, isn’t it supposed to be the other way around at this time in my life…
I have realized that it wasn’t that I was more attractive years ago or that I am less attractively now, it is because I am more stressed now. Years ago, I would constantly smile in pictures and now I cover my face. Why? Being happy makes a picture so much better.
I see less of the beauty in me, even though my skin is clearer. My skin is clearer, so now every pimple makes me freak out and want to cover it up with make up.
I used to super skinny, I gained ten or more pounds, that’s not enough. I want to gain ten more pounds.
There is always something to correct or fix or something that can be better.
I used to be an average student in high schools with As and Bs. In college I have been doing so good with grades even though I never actually feel proud of my work. I received gpas of 3.4, 3.5, 3.6, and last semester 3.7. At the 3.7 gpa I looked at my grades and thought, “Oh, if only I got an A in that class. It could of been so easy to get an A if I did something else.” How about I should just be proud of all my hard work. My grades keep getting better and better.
It’s never enough. Society said, “Go to college and you will get a job.” Now in society it is, “Go to college, have a full time job while in college, network, join clubs, create a LinkedIn, and maybe you will get the job you want after college.”
Times are tough, but I must realize I can only do so much. I have to enjoy all the little moments and celebrate all my accomplishments.
I mean I did not even have a drink on my 21st birthday. I feel like I am not making the memories that I should be. I read a quote and it said, “You were put on Earth, to do more than just work and die.”
So as the year passes, I will try to do things that before I would not do. I want to try new things and meet new people. I want to forgive and forget. I want to laugh, cry (happy tears), and smile. I want to help others and make them love life with me. I want to travel, even if it’s going to a new town in my state. Just getting out of my comfort zone…
Weekly Tina. 